Attachment: A feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal or the like.
One thing I have learned since losing my parents and getting a divorce is how I do not attach myself to things anymore…
I was 40 years old before I truly learned what attachments were and learned how they were limiting me from living a soulful, purposeful, happy life. When my parents died, I was the one left in their house, with all of their things to weed through. What I wanted to keep, what to sell, what to give away. My mom collected and hung onto everything and anything! Honestly, it was by far the most overwhelming task I had ever undertaken. I will never forget sitting there in their house, looking around and wondering, what do I do, were do I start. I felt at that moment I didn’t have an answer, if I didn’t keep everything of theirs, the memory of them would die and go away, that is what I was making myself think and believe, that letting go of THEIR stuff, was literally erasing them, A program that was taught to me from a young age, objects, places, people you need them all to be happy. A light turned on inside of me, I started looking at all of this through the eyes of my children and if I was the one who died and what would they do. I knew right then and there, that A. I would never want to have all this stuff for them to worry about and B, that is all it was stuff, THEIR stuff, NOT mine. So I started taking things and looking at them, did I have a memory of this, why would this be important to have in my life, what would it give to me? I started to realize people attach themselves to things, to cling to memories of a time or place or even a person. Reality being, these are just things, they do not hold that kind of power, we have just made ourselves believe they do. I feel the most beautiful thing our body has is the power of our mind, heart and soul, with these abilities, we create memories, that when we close our eyes, or imagine back to a time, we can see those moments. Thus, we don’t need to hang on to things, that have no feelings, carry no emotions, we have it all right inside of us. I managed to clean out their house, it was still a process, not an easy one, but I did it and I came out with only the things that truly mattered, recipes, ( because no one else would know how to make things that grandpa and grandma did), pictures, my moms jewelry, and some furniture that we would use at our own house. Looking at an object, seeing it is as it is makes things clearer, a vase is a vase, doesn’t matter who owned, a house is just a house, all that matters is who is living with you in a space. Fast forward to 2 years ago, I was in the midst of packing up what I wanted, I literally took nothing from that house, not that it was bad memories, but I had NO need for it, it was just stuff, that is all. It made moving a much easier task, not attaching myself to an object, I already had the memories to look back on.
This is something I have been teaching my kids about, teaching them, to live in their moments, not relying on an object to do that. Their dad is selling the family house, I know it is sad for them, but I think they are understanding it is just a structure, yes, lots of life lived there, but that is all inside of them, forever…
Take a look around you, what do you hold on to? Why?
I hope this makes you think. I am not saying my way is the right way, I just know what I have been through and what has helped me live a happier, freer life. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, live in your moments tomorrow with the people you are surrounded with, that is the true blessing and how you should be living each day!
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